The mind that seeks

First Field Trip

2009-11-06T18:48:00.000-08:00

You have turned seven this 18th august, 2009.

We have moved to Bangkok on 31st August.

You, like us, mourned this move and we were also looking forward to it for it opens up vistas of million new experiences. We stealed ourselves and prayed that with time, we will settle and enjoy.

For the first time, few days back, you told you liked your school in Bangkok. It meant so much to us.

We prayed that you get many friends quickly. You have few now atleast, last saturday, we were so happy that whole day you spent with Florian, his brother and his friend.

We see signs of things your school is imbibing in you. We are happy when you say, 'thats lame!'

From facination on cars in Manila, you have got facination for Lego now in Bangkok. Its costlier but we are happy.

You can spell now 'smear and scorch' which probably I struggled to spell when I in seven or eight grade.

Now this January, 2010, you will go for a field trip from your school. You, who have slept never alone. You, who still needs help in drying yourself after bath and thing I will not say lest it embrasses you!

It gives us goosebump. How will we stay for 3days and 2 night when you go for your field trip? Will you be able manage alone? Will you eat properly? Will you be able to sleep alone? What will you do if in night you want to get us and look for us? Will you drink enough water? will you be enjoying everything its meant to be? What will you do if you feel cold at night?

This will make you more independent and I dont like that though I know its good for you, my dear son. Thats the dellema all fathers suffer from and have to learn to come to the right decision.

How will I face the quiteness at home without you? Will we still keep the cartoon chanels on just to keep it familiar? How will we sleep without your warmth in the bed? Should we also checkin to the resort you will be paying? We arent allowed that we arent even allowed to alllow you to carry your mobile!

Mama asked you to practice sleeping alone. Your response, 'those who have brothers or sister, sleep alone, I will sleep with you.' It have a warm glow to our faces and heart.

We rejoice at every sign of your developments and we love the way you are. We love all the funny crazy things you do which makes us smile even after manydays when we think of it.

We know you will be taken care off. Yet, we cannt just believe that you are now grwon up enough to go to a field trip!

2 You

2009-11-06T07:58:00.000-08:00

You are here.

I met you yesterday.

Came back with a sense of hollowness.

It was good but lacked meaning or deapth. Didnt have any epxectations, still, expectation are there.

You will not meet me without someone being around.

You know how I feel about you.

You are much stronger.

You like to keep simple and indeed its more peaceful.

I have always chased the highes and been ready to pay for the low. Tranquility is not something I cheased, probably wrongly.

Its not right but its not a forced feeling either.

I want to hold your hand and stare in your eyes, touch your lips, gateway to your heart.

Call me please, just once. Please.

Ladyboys!

2009-11-03T10:30:00.000-08:00

Thailand is ill famous for ladyboys.

Its ingrained in the fabrics of society and I wouldnt have known that if we didnt go for the local cultural shows.

To me, it appeared vulgur. Guys dress as girls, gyrating shamelessly, suggestively to the much giggle an catcalls from guys and girls around. Saw it in performance after performance. Dont know when all these started and why it continues to mean something even today in the society.

The tour guys is one such guy who would tease guys unabshed, much to the amusment of everyone.

Havent seen it anywhere else so far.

Later, in one of the rooms, there was gambling with cards. Small bets, small losses, smaller gains. Being hedged in general, I ended up neutral.

Not rich guys, play bigger than they should, bigger than what they earn.

Things that happen is often more than what one can imagine.

A day in Laos

2009-10-30T20:05:00.000-07:00

29th Oct, Thats the day I spent in Laos.

Just one hr of bus ride from Udonthani, we went to the friendship bridge and after brief pause at the immigration, we were in Laos.

Vinetian city is inhabitated by only 600k people and I didnt see any building taller than 3 storied ones. It has the look and feel of no big urban place like Bangkok or Mumbai, it look semiurban, will lush green outdoor and large sleepy, peaceful feel to the city.

Beerlao seens to be its claim to fame and the beer bought by my Vietnamese friend was indeed nice, watery, with touch of bitter afterfeel but a relatively strong to give a high at just the 2nd can.

Its rular ecomony with a emerging mining industry. One can use Lao, Thai and Us curency at ease.

Their temples stand testimony to the havoc Siam war had on the many Budha scuptures, many stand still today, broken physically at many places. The Lao guide, very pointedly refered to the injust Siam war and what it did to his country, taking away statues of Budha, destroying all but one temple in Lao. Later, my Thai friends told me that its hard to hear what one doesnt want to hear and the Siam was first attacked by Lao and not the otherway round.

I realised one more time that there is seldom one history, there is always the two sides of any stories and mostly the actual fact remain silent, lost in justifying our past. We have this habit of owningup to everything that ourforepather committed.

Its democracy with one party. The guide informed. The country got freedom in 1975. Only symbol of frech colonian past is the Paris Tower, waiting to be plastered again for the next airport project to comeup. The last time it got plastered was with cement diverted from the airport project.

Landlocked, surrounded by Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand.

Food not distinct from Thai food but the tastes are somewhat different, to me blander compared to thai food.

Didnt see many people on the road, muchless girls. They were pretty in the restauran we had our lunch on the bank of Mekong city.

Every year, after Buddhist lent, a fire ball can be seen coming up from the river, no one knows the science behind it.

It seems few years back, some people in white robe came to offer prayer at the bank of the river, once it was done, one man spoke up. His voice was different now. He said, he was the Naka and would live there. Since then, the fire ball seems to becomeing bit weaker everyyear.

A day, we went to few Buddhist temples, offered prayers, flowers, candles and incense to Idol of Buddha.

They asked if I was a Buddhist, I said,'no, but I believe in Him and so offer prayers to Him,'

This saturday

2009-10-24T01:26:00.000-07:00

What is a ideal saturday? Well, there can be many definitions but after a long time, we are having a great day today.

Had the fraser breakfast in the morning, palyed pool where all of us are showing great sign of improvements.

Then some tennis.

Thereafter gym and swimming.

Had noodle.

Next we will go to Bollywood Extravaganza at Siam Paragon. Possibly dinner at one of the many great restaurants.

How can we continue to live this way? Need some great investment ideas so can make millions quickly.

Praying.

Adoption.

2009-10-21T08:57:00.000-07:00

Its a ritual now to play pool with Shrihaan in the evening since we moved to Fraser Place.

We have been seeing this European couple during breakfast and evening moving around with two distinctly Asian looking kids.

Shrihaan's skate was broken since we moved from Manila since one of the screw was missing. Today we managed to get a replacement for the same and fixed it. So, we went to the tennis court for him to practice and then we went to play pool. The european guy and his boy was there playing. We got talking and he shared that he has adopted the boy five year back and now came to adopt the daughter. He is german settled in Brussle.

That got us talkiing after we came back home. We have wondered many times about adopting a girl from Philippines. We asked Shrihaan for his view and he went wild (with a laugh offcourse) when we told him that she would sleep with us and she would call me dad! He vehemently demanded to rent a boy so he can fight with him.

Later, he asked if we can adopt a white girl. Dont know what he understood when I explained why children from mostly Asia can be adopted and not whites in general.

Oftentime, we touch things on the surface and hesitate to go deep fearing to unearth things unplesant, not nice.

We wish the german couple with two thai children all the best in thier lives.

Keep the Faith

2009-10-19T19:02:00.000-07:00

This is amaging something that happened to Khun Anne, the effervecent lady who was helping us settle in the land of smiling Buddha.

Her parents were visiting her from Phuket and they have gone to a restaurant. The bill came to 836bhat and theycribbed that city food was too costly. Nextday they again went their for dinner and the bill again came to 836 Bhat.

Khun Anne told them its surprising and she should buy a lotto with that number. Her mom made fun of her and she didnt buy it.

Few days later, she was checking the lotto results and the a huge sum went to the ticket with 836!

Riches were so close to her yet didnt happen.

Lifes like that. Opprtunities come to us in many form and shape and oftentime, we miss it because we dont recognise it.

You may call it irony of fate as well.
This raise the question also why our creator is so playful with us? What is the teaching that life wants us to get from such missed opportunity when in the firstplace its so ambiguous that we dont even recognise sometimes as an opportunity!!

This however also indicate that things can improved and miracles are a moment away. This keeps everyone living life with anticipations.

Jakarta- 11-15th Oct, 09

2009-10-18T01:39:00.000-07:00

Stayed at Mulia hotel for the first time. Foreigners dont stay at Hilton or Marriot any more. Yet its so predictable and obvious that people stay at hotels like Mulia with prayers at their lips.

Indonesia is unlike any muslim countires yet that is being threatened and fanatics are working hard to take it back to stone age. Hope they dont succeed.

Zakir has allready gone for prayers for counple of times by 3pm. Asked Effendi if he was done. He said, 'Im not an muslim'

MS: Then what are you?

Ef: Im Christian

MS: Oh, really, whats the percentage of Christians here? Your name doesnt sound like that of a Christian?

Ef: It would be less than 10%. I was not born Chiristian. My parents are Buddhist, my mom is of chinese origin. I went to a Christian school and liked the teaching of Chirsts. My teacher asked me one day if I would like to get baptised and I said yes. My parents were allriht with it. Infact my mom asks me to go to Church on sunday. Good people they are, my parent'. He said is a smile.

He is 24 yr old and agrees that finding a Christian wife would be tough for him but he knows that he would marry one if she is only Chrishtian.
Thats Indonesia to me.

Titlis, a fourth year student, our translator is also Indonesia to me. With covered head and twinlking eyes, she plans to travel to Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam with nine of her friends this Dec. She earns her pocket money doing translations and plan to have little drinking party in the evening. She says her father being an artist is easy with her. She points to her friend and says that she got strict parents and giggled.

Later, I checked out her blogs and poems of hope, dream and peace.

Dewali & longing

2009-10-17T03:44:00.000-07:00

Today is Dewali. Festival of light. We worship Ma Kali who have blessed me since my childhood. My minf goes back to when I muct have been 6 or 7 year old and used to live in Baruipur with my mother and grand mother. My father used to live in Kolkata but on this occasion would come to Baruipur. There will be Kali Puja in the house of one of my grand father's friend, we used to call him Halder dadu.

We will go in the evening and the Puja will be in the late evening. In the evening, there will be brusting of fire crackers. I would observe the Puja and come back late night.

That was the ritual for Kali Puja even after I was snatched to my uncles place in Kolkata.

In Kolkata, we used to live in Sadananda Road, near Kali temple in Kalighat. So, often I would go there for a darshan and I believe I survived many tarbulence due to Her abundant blessing.

Its a pity, there seems to no Kali Puja in Bangkok where wecould go to offer our prayer. Seems Kali Ma is worshipped in small groups in Bangkok. May be we will get to know more people next year and thus would get involved in Kali Puja .

I bought a jasmine tree and a yellow rose plant yesterday from the SCB park plaza.

Bueaty peagent & noble prize

2009-10-15T08:31:00.000-07:00

No one ever doubted that beauty peagent and noble prize are there to achieve monetary and political targets, its more about messageing than what matters within the ambit of possibilities, thats been how it was so far. Till, out of the blue Barack Obama became a nobel prize winner few days back. Im sure even Barack Obama wouldnt have know even that he was nominated.

Motivation remains not so clear to the lay men. Europe is offcourse dependent on America for stability and as an antidote to the lonliness it otherwise suffers from. Its influence is Asia is next to nothing and hence the dependence on America is at the very core of their any interaction with any countires outside Europe.

Barack Obama has promised much, talk even more but havent delivered anything. If atall, the world is slightly more chaotic now, no one know the depth of fragilities of the economies and theres still not any change on how ruthless we are to the environment.

Yet, he is recognised for his work. Its an endrosement to the fact that thoughts and words can be equated to delivered promise since at our heart, we all know that inspite of may be his honest intentions, Barack Obama wouldnt achieve anything more concreat than what Bush achieved, he wouldnt be able to make the world any safer than it was when Bush presided over several wars to keep the ammunition industry in healthy shape. Presidents are but the face that are controlled by moneybags.

Being the ever optimist, I still wish him to win his battles and make the world bit better.

Stop loss

2009-10-15T08:19:00.000-07:00

Stop.Loss

The movie that took me to the inner weariness of the players life in the batlle field.

Living in Bangkok or Manila, wars in Afganistan or Iraq seems distant. Being in India, where everyone in big cities live in mortar fear of Pakistan playing deadly mischief anytime, anywhere, it doesn’t seem that distant. Met an old friends, who with a resigned smile on his face said,’ on one side monsoon is playing havoc, on the otherhand, there’s these terrorists, what do we do?’

The wars will change the soldiers forever. Survival means being able to kill the ones who come to kill them. Survival being primal basic instint, would overpower any sense of morality or values. It’s the horde mentality that rules. How does one live afterwards, knowing being responsible for killing and disrupting manylives or not being able to protect a dear friend, a mate?

Did God creat us to face this kind of tumultuous issues and comeout winners? If that be the case, then surely God has got very high expectations from her children.

Staying at Marriot last few days, I face fear everyday. I ask the one who was frisking me,’don’t you guys have gun?’ He said, ‘what for?’, then he lowered his voice and says, ‘don’t worry, we now know what to do.’ I see people with sharp looks walking around here and there, the sharpness says certain things in no uncertain terms. I pitied the guys on the main entrance doing their job in a mundane routine ways, probably knowing fully well that in case of any trouble, they are likely to be the first ones to face it. It’s the desparetion of earning a living that forcesthese people to take these risks to earn the paltry salary which is all that is there for their families to survive and dream. Hope sustains us and I hope for the best for all of them.

Terrorism is a business venture . For selling TV, we develop a winning concept. For the terrorist, the concept is dominiation of ones religion. For soaps and skin creams, people buying the concept (read TVC), pays money to buy it. For the terrorism, plople buying the concept, pays with their morality, lives. For selling soaps, we define the target consumers. Same way terrorist business venture, they define the target groups of recruits as marginalised, hopeless people whose only dream now is to get something after death.

There are plenty of business that have been killed by rival groups. The moment we acknowdge that terrorism is a business venture, it would be relatively easy to develop a long term plan to eliminate these venture. This being a strong venture, it would take time, resources to do it but it can be done. However, it takes commitment from politicians and determined arms forces to do it. However, it will also mean going beyond ones vested intest to deal with it. History tells us, its almost impossible to ask say America to sacrifice their arm industry or territorial ambitions of Russia or China.

Hence, next best option is to develop stregths to deliver vengeance swiftly if one dare to have evil throughts in a particular land. Again, that would mean determination and strong will that a country like India lacks completely.

Only Isreal has shown it in recent history. But people is Isreal still are peaceless in a place they call home.

Allmost a month in Bangkok- post 1

2009-09-24T09:01:00.000-07:00

We move to Bangkok about a month back on 30th Sept. We came with very mixed feelings since we had fallen in love with Manila with all thats there.

Shrihaan gave a the first high in here. We went to Bangkok Patana School and he had to take a test. We were bit worried since he was mostly out of touch first being busy with his seventh birthday and later with many farewell parties!! I was specially apprehensive since I was feeling miserable that I had to uproot him from a very well settled life with many friends, many activities and comfort.

Someone from office came and took him for the test with a teacher. After about a hour, the tacher came back with a smile and said he did very well. We were so happy and we knew he will get his first mobile soon. He bought that yesterday from Central World at Chilom, close to where we are staying at Capehouse and still close to where we will be staying at Fraser place.

We felt very bad looking at the painful trasition he is still going though. He loved his school in Manila and loves nothing about the new place. Yet time heals and his dislike is slowly getting tempered with bits and pieces of liking. We really hope that he falls in love with this school too. We worried a lot if our choice of the school was right. The teaching material he gets at home however tells us that he would probably get far better education here than what he would have got in Manila. Besides, he doesnt have to go to Kumon here.

I got busy with loads of work and Dona and Shrihaan are allmost on there on to explore and settle in this new place. It helps that Lumpini park is close by where we found Isckon Devoutees chating and many iguana's moving from lake to pond and around.

We here birds chirping here. We didnt see too many birds in Manila, dont know why though.

Meanwhile I got good company from a vietnamese and another Thia friend. Friends are what makes it a home in a new city I guess.

Its a big challenge for us not to put on weight here. We love the food and the shear varieties.

We however cannt help compareing everything with Manila and hence when we went to a beach, in my mind I said this is nothing compared to the whitesand beaches in Manila, as if we were really from there.

Dona had her birthday on 18th, Dinner at Cafe Nine was bueatiful.

Anything new I eat yet? Yes, blood clotted into a cake and cooked in a green curry sauce. For the first time only I guess.

Gritting my teeth, I live now. A test on perseverance, hope, prayer and faith.

My Birthday

2009-06-22T22:51:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday.

Dona and Gulu got gifts and made special. Gulu played the guiter when signing Happy Birthday today morning.

Few people called and wished, some sent mails.

Standing on the crossroad, I remain focused and pensive.

Still searchinf for clarity.

I have learned to control anxiety and remain peaceful.

I just foundout that my heart might be four year yonger than my age, some apparent good news.

Tonight, we will go out for a movie.

Notes to myself

2009-06-13T22:39:00.000-07:00

Every minutes on this life is an act of faith. Yet, we chase everything with the endureing hope for security and certainty.

Life often nulls us into beliving in certainty and security.

We dont have this in our lives now. Dona, Shenna and myself are numbed with a look at future we dont know for sure.

Im struggling to cling to the job we have.

We came to Manila as expat and got a great lives. We knew that this couldnt be the live forever but prayed for its continuation.

Three years, we had that life.

Its allmost certain that we will enter into a difficult phase of our lives soon, may be in two three months. We still hope that the pall of gloom and uncertainty will disappear soon like a nightmare and we will return to my job back in India. We pray for it.

We maynt be able to go back to india to the job I left there. In which case, we might find a job in bangkok.

We hope that compnay pays atleast for the house and school. In that case, we will only miss the good savings we were making last three years. Still, we look forward to it. Bangkok is the land of Buddha and we wish to meditate and find solace, peace and happiness there.

We remain very worried thinking about longterm education for Shenna. We pray to ShriKrishna and with his grace, everything should turn out allright. We pray to MaKali for the same as well.

Another scenario is living as foreigner in Bangkok with a local salary. With this scenario in mind, we are trying to figure out how life could be there. Search for bangkok, one will find plethora of info on nighlifes but hardly anything can be found on lives of common people there.

Trying to get a hand of cost of living there. Thus far, it seems like this:

Rent - 2000o Bath/month for a condo of 600-900 sq ft in a good locality
Food/groceries - 15000 Bath/month
Travel - 5000 Bath/month
Nighout - 4000 Bath/month

Hence, we should be able to get by with 50k Bath/Month with one or two holidays thrown in every 3-4months. Yearly, thus we should spend 600k Bath for our sustainance.

School: 300000 Bath/yr.

So, we are looking at 900k /yr for our lives there. Not sure what will be my salary there, but should be able to manage with not much savings.

Praying for lives to brightenup again.

To Dy GM Sir

2009-05-25T22:20:00.000-07:00

The experience of past few days, the tears at ISKON temple, the unexpected thoughtfulness of my chinese boss, the ensensitivity of our Indian HR, all made me relook at my life and one bqad relation I have is with my bother. I wanted to reconnect again, not too sure what I expect out of it. So I wrote to him today. Not sure if he will respond or if at all he will give it a thought, will know if few days when I talk to my Ma.

To Dy GM Sir

Hello Sir, Hope all is well at your end.....

onelife to live, it is not worth having the rag as pet, raag pushey ki ba luv! Everything is worth trying a second or third time....share blood, share experience, shared pain, shared laughter...all these makes life a bit better.

Please dont bother responding if you dont have a olive branch or atleast a white hanky....o:)

And please dont see any motives behind this mail, theres none except to have a try to have a good relation in the family, we dont have much of that.

And in case you wonder who gave me your email id, dont worry too much, I just googled you.

As years passes and one ages, new insights emerge and lot we do can be linked to experience in our growing up years.

I apologies for all the wrong I have done, sincerely. One makes mistakes, one learns, one suffers as payment.

Cheers From Manila

PS: 28/5/09.

No, I didnt get any response. Frozen heart, unbending. Atleast I tried.

Cost of living in Manila

2009-05-25T08:51:00.000-07:00

I do this as a tribute to Manila which is our home for last three years allmost. Manila is the city where our three year old todder slowly becoming the boy that he is now. Salcedo village in Manila is the island where we have extremely nice Indian friends and community that we didnt have evn in India. Community sans the bitter struggle.

If we doesnt have care for money then its pointless to talk of money. Hence, I would just mention my sense of what someone concience of money would like to spend to live a good life.

Salcedo village is the place to stay. An office area, yet have all the trappings of a perfectly peaceful residential area. These are condo's Im talking about. 1BR rent would be 20k-35k Peso where 2BRK can be have at 50-65k.

St Augustine school in Dasmarina's village is recommened, extremely good quality of education at 75k Peso/yr.

Since we do grocery and vegetables ar SM mall and other malls in Makati area, we spend 3-
3.5kPeso every week. If one is willing to go to wet market, this can comedown somewhat.

A decent meal would cost 100-150Peso at KFC, Mc Donalds. Other restaurant, it would be 200-600peso. Varieties galore.

A just massage would cost 300-1000Peso.

One hour badminton course rental is 75Peso.

bad haircut would be 75Peso, good haitcut would be 180-500Peso.

Medicines are very very expensive. One can ask friends back in India to buy the medicines of themselves, we do.

Electricity is costly, easily 5k/month. Water would cost 1k Peso. maid would cost 5k Peso - all in per month basis.

A decent living would cost around 75k.

More questions? Just drop a mail please.

Hand of fate

2009-05-25T08:40:00.000-07:00

Three years back
fate cospired
too many complications
took us a far away island.

Beatiful life there, friends
travel to white sand beaches
exploring the deep sea secret
Time flew fast.

The plan back then
was well throught out
There were assumptions
which changed while away in the island.

Plans are but transient
we are the children of fate
destiny decides for us
unknown to us, dripped in faith.

The place we felt behind
called us back with a smile
tempted, we wanted to respond
only to be betrayed.

Seed of hope is in hopelessness
faith and devine interventions
bitter cries in temple
washed away touches of guilt.

So called friends advised
hiding their glee
suboptimal suggestions
they would never follow.

A choice emerged
out of the heartfelt prayer
faith that turns tide
live to live another day.

She

2009-05-24T09:45:00.000-07:00

She is no gypsy girl
to take me twril around
On a moonsoon afternoon
she would rather not promise
zillion of possibilities.

She is the mother to my son
His rock, my rock
Solid like words cannt capture
committed, hopeful, strenth giving.

She wouldnt question like burning ember
If I havent measured up
like a decision taken is not be questioned
ever again, to expose the wounds of doubt
unkept, unrealised promises.

If it makes me happy
liberty is mine to experience
not to be spyed
like slithering snail lost
in transit in the woods.

Vain, is my weakness
to look for addiction
in lanes narrow and serpentine
the bliss is at home
overlooked, taken for granted
value in something sin.

Heart quivering, future
untold, not guaranteed
steely resolve, backbone straightened
hope in heart, we walk
to the dawn.

You dont do it

2009-05-21T16:21:00.000-07:00

One of my person, Reginee is resigning. Previously she had a boss with whom she didnt gel and hence she wasnt going anywhere. Having seen her work, we moved her about two yearrs back to our group. she flourished with all the opportunities givem to her. She beack the envy and aspiration for other in my team.

Now she is leaving and is giving a months notice following the company policy. She was doing a critical role and its known recruitment in Manila will take at least two month. Have requested her before for making sure that she has some overlap with her replacement. But she didnt take heed.

Will we not manage? We will. Will we stuggle, yes somewhat.

As a trusted professional, you dont do it. You ensure that the transition is smooth and the things you helped develop and build is still taken careoff.

She is moving to Dubai. She will need a job there and we have our offcie there. Will I try for a job for her. I might. Will I do it from my heart?
What do you think?

Outreach programme for Charater building

2009-05-13T21:27:00.000-07:00

We have a quaterly outreach programme run by our company and I try to go for it every alternate ones.

Yesterday, we went to build homes for underprivillaged families in the innerpart of Manila. Our group was assigned to make the floor which involved:

1. Mixing the sand, cement, the stone chips

2. Mixing all these with water

3. Make the floor

I started with lot of enthusiam and soon found myself panting. I like allmost everyone else, took frequent breaks, had chilled water. I even had a short spell inside the airconditioned bus before resumeing again.

We could finish the assigned task only because we had couple of regular mason helping us out.

My mind went back to the time when we were making our house long ago and used to crib about how slow the guys were working and how tghey deliberately progressed slowly to milk us out of our money.

Thus, yesterday experience was humbling. I realised how difficult the work is, everyday, under the sun wholeday with meagre payments and a future which doesnt look any brighter.

I felt so fortunate having a different professional work in an office environment. I simply felt blessed.

We need to thus do regular community service since it provide enormous self satisfaction for whatever little we do selflessly and not only that it make us realise different lives people live and be less judgemental having some insights from the work we do albeit for a short while. It makes the world a little better place to live.

It must be part of every society to have mandatory community services.

Building confidence in Children

2009-05-11T02:24:00.000-07:00

Shenna will turn seven this august. He is eagerly looking forward to it and planning for the gifts he wants.

We adore him. He is soft, careing, smart, does his Kumon, great in drawing, have varied interests, ask many questions, makes friends easily. Very playful, very lovable. Loves pulling Dona's leg and partners with me in that.

Yesterday, on Mother's day, he promised Dona three pans, large, medium and small. Also, she was offered a steamer as alternative!

But often we feel worried. When he was young, he used to just follow other kids. If they jumped, he would also jump and we could not see him lead, be him own person.

We were blessed with a marvelous teacher, Ms. Nat last year in his ECLC. We discussed it with her and this has stopped by the end of the year.

However, we dont see the urge to play for the ball, chasing it, grabbing it, goign for it, be it in soccer or basketball. He loves to play but mostly we find him busy chatting or being pedestrians. Linked to this, we find him wanting to win in the field like any kids his age would do or the way I was when I was his age.

He is very careful and I think scared to play tough. We are now thinking very actively how to help him develop the passion and thrust for winning in the field so that he can enjoy all the games and develop as a well rounded personality in his life.

We have see he does wonderful stuff if he tries. However, the trying doesnt come naturally to him. Left to himself, he would just do whatever he feel like and then get busy with cartoons, games, friends. However, if we can convince him then we have seen he can go ahead and perform.

We have to develop a plan to help him become a tougher guy.

ISKON, MANILA

2009-05-05T02:58:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday was a extremely happy day for us. We went to the ISKON temple in Manila for the first time. We have always wanted to go there since we arrived in Manila but didnt know the exact location. It turned out to be close to where we stay in Makati.

From outside, its a small temple inside a house and doesnt have the pomp and majestic aura of ISKON temple of Mumbai or Bangalore. But as we enter and went infront of ShriRadhaKrishna, we were transported to another world and it was such a fantastic experience. Felt very athome in Manila there.

Seems there is also a small ISKON temple in Laguna and Cebu, someday hope to go there.

Felt bit bad for the young Monk from Brindabhan who said with a smile that he is suffocating! Understandable since Manila is very different from Brindabhan without the many temples and his fellow devoutees.

We felt glad also to know that theres plan to have a proper temple in Manila in about five years time.

Donations are wellcome.

Heartache in Manila

2009-05-02T05:59:00.000-07:00

Living in a foreign country is fun only when one makes becomes a part of a circle of people of similar interests and leaning.

Making friends and loosing them becomes a part of life when we live in a foreign city we learn to call home for sometimes.

One cannt be too tough in deciding whom to be friends with anymore.

We become close for reasons like having children of similar age, having likeing for movies or travel. Its really a search for a single common thread that can bind us together rather than that search for something beggier, more meaningful and lasting.

a common mistake some people make given that these relations are allmost invariably not lasting and ends with a move from the city is that they forget to honour it with essential human dignity like courtsey, makeing sure the gift being given is worthwhile.

Thus, some one makes a comment like give whatever suits your budget, she is anyway going, how does it matter if she like it or not. Thats about giving a farewell gift.

Thus we also hear take whatever you want to a potluck party, how does it matter what people thinks, anyways, who is going be your friends for the life.

These are fatal mistakes.

No one know the future and all we have is this moment to live and find glory in our act of living. a moment wasted is thus very costly. The impressions we make , the joys we give, the lives we touch even for shortwhile all goes on the enrich the world, however in their small ways it may be.

We give what we get. If we give miserly to others, they will also give miserly, thus creating a chain. So, give in abundance to enrich our earth.

A month or so back one family with whom we have spent lot of times, left manila to go back to Kolkata. Our son was friends with their son and used to call him potty master since whenever we have gone out for lunch or dinner, he would need to go for potty!

They were hugh mouthed people, A & B. whatever, they talk would be costly and demonstrate or hint at their oppulance. They would ask for favours without any shame. They would also take care of us when we go to their home. They will always provide something to talk behind their back and fodder for snigger and gossip. Yet, they belonged. We hated them and loved them, happy that they are gone and sad that they are gone.

Such is life as expats.

Vila Escuredo

2009-04-21T20:00:00.000-07:00

Holiweek in Manila is magical, everyone goes on holiday to somewhere or other. However, like always I hadn’t planned anything. Dons said couple of days before the holiweek and everyone from Shenna’s class were going somewhere. She had that typical long face expression on her face that never fails to trigger me into action.

Did lot of searches and Dons also talked to her friends. Thus, we found ourselves on last Friday gather in four cars infront of our house in Salcedo village at 6.30am. We were going to Vila Escuredo. I believed it to be in Batangas but my philipina friends told me that its in Luzon.

It was a beautiful drive through the highway and took us just less than 2 hours to reach Vila Escuredo. As we entered, we believed it to be a coconut plantation. The welcome drink was refreshing.

The museum, a private collection was indeed interesting, through crapped. I though didn’t like the stuffed anumals, it appeared sad to me.

Each poorer by P 1100, we took the carabao drive to go our Nipa hut. Bit cheaper since the curtural show was not there as all the performers were busy with their holidays.

Philippines stop still during holidays.

We changed into our get ready to wet dresses and went for lunch in the falls. It was nice because it was an unique experience inspite of the flies all around. It was nice because we carried our lunch.

Shenna soon shouted that his crocs was being carried away by the flowing water, we retrived it. Soon, Ansh too experienced it.

Sitting under the waterfall and having lunch is something we must experience once.

Later, we all were in the swimming pool. Later, we went kayakking. We had never before kayaked in a 2ft by 20ft flat kayak. From afar, it looks risky but once stting in it, it’s just simply blissful, rowing.

The highlight for me and the kids were our fishing. The fishes fooled me more than 100 times but at last, I salvaged my prestige and caught four small tilapiya fish. We kept them with us for sometimes and before coming back, let them go back to the lake. Shenna, his friend Ritz, Ansh and Ishan were all very excited from this experience.

Its a nice chilled out place, could be very good even for an overnight stay with wine and camp fire by the lake in the night around which friends and family can spend hours together.

Coping, trying times

2009-04-15T02:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I heard from two my friends, one going through a harrowing experience and the other coping with her demon, about their personal experience with tragedy and story of their heart's crying.

It made me pause and I went back to more than 23 years back, to the day, I lost my father at the age of 17.

I have coped with it by building a wall inside me. So that I avoid pain and sorrow, I fail to allow myself to love and live in abundance. Will it ever heal? I dont know.

Below are the mails verbatim.

Dear Sandeep,

Thanks for sharing. My heart goes out to you and your family for this very sad news. I can just imagine what you and your family are going through right now. Twice I experienced having to see loved ones suffer and then fade away. First was 10 yrs ago when my mom left us. We saw her breathe her last right before our very eyes. She had lingering illness and was bedridden for months and the doctor warned us that she would not last long. I was very close to her that there were times then that I prayed not to prolong her agony, that I rather see her go than see her suffer and at the same time wishing for a miracle. When the day she had to go finally came we were so devastated.I was in denial for a long time. I had that moments in my life when I lost my sense of purpose, she was my life, all my dreams and plans revolved around her. 10 yrs has passed and I can't think of my mom without crying.

The 2nd time happened just a couple of months ago in Jan. My sister-in-law, very young at 39, died of cancer, leaving behind my brother and 2 young children. She was diagnosed some 10 months back and we were hoping she'll pass through it. When she started loosing weight drastically in just wks, the doctor said she only has 6 mo and we'll be lucky if we still have her in December in time for Christmas. Like you, I was tasked upon to break the news to my other brothers, sisters, father and other relatives and it's not an easy task. The last 10 months before Jan was the most trying, painful and challenging physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially…..When that fateful day came in Jan, my brother sent me sms and I had that heavy task again to break the news to everyone…..

There really is no amount of preparation and time that can prepare anyone to face the death of a dear one, a reality we all has to witness at some point in our life.
I pray for your family's strength in this trying time.
Take care.

Zea

_____________________________________________
From: Kambli , Sandeep
Sent: Thursday, April 09, 2009 6:15 AM
To: Ganguly, Manish; Caranto, Albert; Chua, Zea

Most Horrible Day in My Life – 8th April, 2009

Writing this note mainly as reminder to myself from hospital waiting room in front of ICU and to share with you.

Managing communications and putting thoughtful decisions is always difficult in life – today I experienced the same.

Received call from father-in law at 11.00am stating he needs me urgently as there is an emergency and I should reach as early as possible to Bhartiya Arogya Nidhi Hospital in Juhu. Call came in the middle of TC along with brand team and RSC. I apologized and rushed to the hospital.

As soon as reach the hospital realized that the younger brother of father-in law (age 50 yrs) had a series of blood loses through nose when he was going for medical checkup today morning and completely unconscious after the incidence.

After small conversation with doctor, realized the next step planned is CT Scan for brain as blood is coming mainly from nose. Completed the same in few minutes and we were back to ICU along with initial findings.

Few minutes later doctor asked key person to come in for discussion, who will go? And I found actually all are looking at me. I quickly decided to step up and said ok I will talk to doctor. When reached doctors cabin, the first question - Are you patient’s son? I said no – he is outside. Doctor politely replied can you also ask him to join the discussion.
Rushed out and got him along with me in doctor’s cabin. As soon as we settled in doctor started her lines – stating the situation is very bad and with all explanation …ended by saying – we can’t do anything more. I lost myself for few seconds ….. after short recovery of where I am … we discussed what next and the doctor after a long breath said – we called the senior doctor, he should be here in an hour time but there is no chance. You will have to inform this to your relatives and friends outside.

And I had the most difficult task of my life to do. As I was walking outside the ICU room, thousand questions came to mind and when I stepped out, I was blank as almost 10 faces looking at me with series of questions to their heart.

This is most tensed movement of my life and I really don’t recollect what words I used to communicate what was said by doctor. Reaction was a complete panic and tears pouring out from all eyes.

Later when I spoke to senior doctor realised that there is nothing to do …. Simply wait and see …….. for person to die.

More than 80 calls I made in 12 hours – never done before and will never do it again in my life.
Normally you try to see how heart beats are improving of a patient …. Today I am looking at a graph which is going down every hour and unfortunately waiting for going to zero.

Life will throw us in all sorts of problems. Let’s face it bravely as each day will be different in the years to come.

Sandeep