Suffering

It feels aweful to be scared for having a good moment. One moment, he is lost in the beautiful moment and having fun and the next the memeries and guilt floods and incapacitates him and a fear engulf his bones. Any suffering is painful but all his life he has thought that suffering anf joy comes a discreet and different times. He didnt know he would live the days when a joyous moment, a moment of reckless laughter would invite the veil of suffering to be removed so it has a vantage point in his soul. He doesnt understand what teaching could be there in it for him? He is shaken that the life he has know seemed to be at risk now and the unknown send s chill and shiver down his bones. What is it and why is it that he faces this? Anyone's life his full of acts that are not just and pure and his wasnt any worse. The why is it that he and some other peoples are cursed with something so selfish, so devastating that its so difficult to recover from it and makes everything appear meaningless?

He searches for something, a straw to hand on to that will make the warmth of sun, the breeze back in his life and he wouldnt be scared to exerience and celebrate living. He doesnt have any answer to his prayers from his weeking soul.

It has happened to other people and some of them has succumbed to it. He resolves and stregthen his mind that he has reasons and responsibilities to comeout from the depth of the lightless abyss he has fallen into.

Somewhere out there there is a teacher and there is mercy waiting for him.