Tough times

Didnt feel any urge for posting for a long time. 2010 was bad, lost memories of mother. 2011 will remain as the year was promised so much and nothing was kept. So, was looking ahead to haveing a peaceful and meaningful 2012 which will yield some solid direction to the future.

Yes, 2012 is turning out to be a year where our resilience and perseverance will be tested to no small measures. Dona fell ill and had to go to Kolkata for treatment for about 10 days. We went through breaking days and only with prayer we cam through this period. Shrihaan had school and we stayed back in Bangkok. I decided to work from home to take care of him. It gave a good understanding what Dona does everyday for him and its quite clear that nothing is as simple and effortless as it seems. I also took him to Siam discovery park and it was so amusing that he was trying to scare me realising that I wasnt very comfortable with some of the rides. A son is a true friend. I have prayed a lot those days and it sustained us.

We also had a small flying visit to Shirdi Saibaba. He had told once to one of his deciple that if he wishes, then  his devoutee will be drawn to Shidi as simply as a fly can be pulled with a string. So true. We went there just for a day and it was so fulfilling. We felt his touches all the way. A friend unexpectedly arranged for the car at a well negotiated price and we got a shorter line due to our current status.

Now her mom had a fall and she is bed ridden. We are again praying for her to get well soon. She is Dona's rock and she talks to her everyday. We send some money for her. We think of her all the time.

Her brother seems to be having an affair with a cousin who is more than half his age. He denies it. We read signs that there could be something. He was away working in Madras while his wife was in Delhi. Their cousin also got a job in Madras and went to stay there in a hostle. She is bold, drinks, smokes, fun and will say bold things. He is fun loving, equally adapt at the ways of the world. Things might have worked out their dreams. If I was 17, I will judge and stamp them as immoral. At my age now with so much of experience, I seem to believe that things happen and one shouldnt judge. One should live with the faith, hope and goodness in heart and try do good as such as possible. We arent here to judge and give rulling to others for we dont know why people do what they do.

The promotion still eludes me. I still dont know when we will ger stability. We continue to be torn with thoughts of what we should do. I now believe that we have to trust something, either destiny, karma, fate, God, something. I believe in His guidance and live with prayers and hopes.

In a sea of people, why one feels so lonely!

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