Getting back the balance

is all that matters now. The events since 18th Feb have every changes of unsettling all that have been built meticulously overall many years. Sometimes, feel that this is another reason why shouldnt have moved to Mumbai. This has been building up over som many months but never really thought or wanted to reach where it ha reached. Hence, taking stock and trying to get back the mooring, note to self: 1. What are important things in life? The people who are so dependent and have committed their lives and faith something which has to be valued and not played with or not to let down. I have let down all in my life so far and it would criminal to do the same to the her and him who doesnt know anything else in life. I must do everything to get out of the maddening feelings that are gawning at the bones. 2. Staying positive and focussed Being in a critical phase of career, important to continue to push for results and closure on the projects. 3. Morality and values: It is important to have things in life whih we are proud of and provides meaning to life in the longterm. Anything which has to be done secretly is not wholesome. I have always tried to be honest an everything to her and him and it must stay that way only. I didnt have strenths of father or uncle and dont have fond memories of my teenage years and I must endeavour to pack great experiences and memories for him to help his sustaina dn grow life long. What he has felt now is soemthing which can damange and hurt him deeply and I must not endenger it further. He is my only hope who would respect and love and admire me when Im gone an I mut not do anythng which will derail it. 4. Keeping busy: Only way to forget is to keep busy with lot of activities which will make the yearning and urge to be in touch go away. The body must be punished with all sort of activities which will make the soul forget what it feels it wants desparately. Any experience that cannt be celebrated openly with pride is something that cripples the soul of one and people around him and hence not fulfilling. The thing with anything that has to be done secretly is to be seen as damaging in the long term. Also ny addiction is to be ovrcome for the grater good in the longterm. Exercise like there is no tommrrow. Body and mind are so connected that a good body is guarantee to a good mind. Do something new as often as possible. Find things to learn. Watch movies from different culture and genre, read books on new cultures, travel to places, plan something new allthe time. An idle mind is not for nothing said to be devils workshop. Make money, make it an obsession since it liberates life and allow to do things which one wishes to do. Understanding the issue is difficult as this is complex and given what it is it is difficult to know anything for sure and with honestly. Under such circumstances it is best to keep it as far away a possible and give time to heal. Moving to a different place is also a good idea.